Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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