Who did Billy Mays play for?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
