isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
