How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
