coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
