weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
