When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
