i need an iv and a liver transplant
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
