the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm always down for nudity.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
