why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
