If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
