i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
