Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
