I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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