Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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