Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
