So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
