Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
