God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
