we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
