I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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