he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
