I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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