Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
