i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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