I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
