Sober January is a disaster.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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