He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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