i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
