I wannas sexs uuuuu
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
