I just pynch a tree in the face
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
