She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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