There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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