Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
