Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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