I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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