I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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