Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
