Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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