He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
