I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
