The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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