Whatcha textin bout Willis?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
