My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
