I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
