Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
