I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
