I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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