she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
