This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
