I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the room spins SO much faster in panama
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
